Talking To Kids About Divorce

Talking to children about divorce can be extremely difficult, regardless of whether you and your ex are on relatively amicable terms and have reached an agreement about issues concerning child custody and co-parenting. The issues that every child will face concerning divorce will depend upon the circumstances of the family, the child’s age, and various other factors. What are some of the key considerations you should keep in mind when you are talking to your children about your divorce? Our San Jose divorce attorneys have information to help.

Consider Your Kids’ Needs Based on Age 

When you are talking to your kids about your divorce, it is important to be aware of the ways in which children will react to news of divorce based on their general age. Younger children, for example, may need more reassurance that their parents love them and that their relationships with their parents will not change, while older kids may have more questions and may need more detailed information.

Make a Plan Ahead of Time 

When you know you need to tell your kids about your divorce, it is extremely important to make a plan ahead of time, as an article in Psychology Today emphasizes. By planning out what you will say to your kids, you can be sure that you give them all of the information that you want to provide, and that you think ahead about potential questions your children will have. While it may be difficult or impossible to answer some of the questions your kids have, you can anticipate certain questions and provide an honest answer. Your children might want to know, for example, if they are at fault for the divorce, or if there is anything they can do to keep you and your ex together. Older kids in particular often want to know how the divorce will affect their day-to-day lives, including how the divorce will change their living situation, school, or extracurricular activities. You should make a plan to respond as honestly as you can.

Sit Down with Your Children Together If Possible 

If you are on relatively amicable terms with your ex, or if you are able to work together for the sake of your children, Psychology Today underscores that it is often best to sit down together with your children to tell them about your divorce plans. When kids hear the news from both parents together, they often feel more reassured and are able to begin understanding that the divorce will not destroy their family situation but will merely result in some changes. When you speak with your children together, you can also demonstrate for them how you will be able to work together for co-parenting purposes even if you are no longer in a marriage.

Contact Our San Jose Divorce Attorneys Today 

If you have questions about children and divorce, or if you need assistance with your divorce or child custody case, one of our divorce lawyers in San Jose can help you. Contact Foster Hsu, LLP for more information.

Resource:

psychologytoday.com/us/blog/better-divorce/202002/how-tell-your-kids-you-re-getting-separation-or-divorce